I can't breathe out the right side of my face
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize