Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
