I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
