I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
