You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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