That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
