now i know why i became what i already was.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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