Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
