OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
