I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
