8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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