That's when you crack a 10am beer
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
