I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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