Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i think i just lost a toe
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
