We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
