So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize