You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
