wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
