If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
my liver is dry heaving
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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