First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
