that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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