ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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