She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
