dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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