I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
