why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
