apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
