she looked like the before picture.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Never joke about your clitoris.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
