we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
