I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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