I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
