I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
