did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
