Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
