turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
