I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You were trust falling into bushes
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
