I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
