i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
