Cold hands, warm shart.
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
