You're a womanizer and a bitch.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
