even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
