We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
