ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
