We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
