from now on my penis is your penis
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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