I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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