She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
