You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i came on her dog
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
