It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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