omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize