Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I am one with the molecules
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
