Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In other news, I just burned my penis
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
