i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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