What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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