Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
