What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
