bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
