don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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