when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
