I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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