The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
