He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
