so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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