Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
