While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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