You're my little dorito
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
