another moral hangover. fuck.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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